Training...

The last two weeks have been tiring. Enjoyable, but tiring. At times it seems all I do is eat, sleep, work and run. I wish running was a higher percentage of that time, but what I get is quite satisfying.
   My body seems to have as many ups and downs as the weather here in Colorado. Last Sunday it snowed most of the day. Yesterday was sunny and seventy three degrees. My hip and lower back were seized up and painful just over a week ago. A good massage therapy session and I ran about 28 miles the next day. The ensuing work week seemed too long, and I only managed an hour to an hour and a half of running each day. Yesterday I ran 29 miles, and despite a bit of grumbling from my  right calf, it felt pretty easy. That being said, It felt hard enough to make me fearful of trying to go a hundred miles in June. I think that is part off the allure of a hundred mile footrace. I don't know if I can do it, and therein lies the attraction. A challenge of the physical body for sure, but mostly a question of will and desire. When I am on a training run, it never feels like "training". I'm just having fun. A long race usually provides a time when the fun stops. Why keep going? Good question. Let me know if you figure that one out! I know that part of it, for me, is the conversation in my head gets really interesting. Most of the time the thoughts in my head are mundane and petty. In a state of exhaustion things get more existential. I wish I could put these thoughts into words, but they seem to get lost in speech. It's probably just escapist, but I crave this state of mind. So many layers of my minds preconception and expectation are peeled back. The sensations seem to come through in full force, without being filtered.
    It seems funny, because I spend so much time researching training methods that would indicate that going faster, for longer, is the primary goal. Sure, faster is cool. It's an ego boost. Really though, it is about making the body resilient enough to keep it from being the limiting factor of the experience. At mile eighty I want my mind, not my stupid IT band, to be the deciding factor in my ability to continue. Pushing through a physical injury, while having it's own kind of mental struggle, may damage the future of this kind of enjoyment. Pushing through a mental barrier I can only see as healthy and helpful to my future. It is a fine line that we tread.
    Two more weeks and I'll be in Los Alamos, New Mexico. Only then will I find out if this vehicle of a body will take my mind where it wants to go.