Chasing Rays

   I have a love/hate relationship with fall. I love the colors, the temperatures, the crisp chill in the morning air. What I struggle with is the shortening of the daylight hours, and the knowledge that winter will be here very soon. I really like long days, and although I own many headlamps to deal with the deficiency of light, I find myself trying to squeeze every bit of daylight out of the dwindling hours. Views are prettier when one can actually see them.
    So while many experience "Spring Fever" I get "Fall Fever". Not the way hardcore skiers do, by itching for snow, but rather chasing every last bit of summer fun in the high country. I do enjoy the cycles of the seasons, and I would get bored with nothing but summer. So I try to fully embrace the conditions at hand. Working in the outdoor industry I am always surprised how many people are constantly looking for a change of conditions to do a different activity. "I can't wait for snow, those first turns are gonna be SICK!" "I can't wait for spring so I can ride some sweet singletrack!" So many of us live for the future. It will be great when...you name it...happens. I'm as guilty as anyone.
    However, as I get older, I find another problem. The pain of watching the present roll by faster than I can grasp.' Be present' is an oft stated goal of yogis and meditators. A noble pursuit, but one I am finding can have a darker side. The anxiety of trying to do so much before it slips away. As I write this the sun has come out from what started as very gray, rainy morning.   I was grateful for a rainy morning to be lazy and lounge around the house. Now, as I watch the muted colors of the dying oak leaves start to illuminate, I try to remind myself it is just part of the cycle. Oh good, here comes the next wave of the storm.

I saw Satan on the beach, trying to catch a ray.
He wasn't quite the speed of light
And the squirming coil...it got away

-Phish